Joule Love These Physics Jokes!

Stop forcing her to give too much information!

I can sense the tension in you.

I know a guy that lives in the Middle East that loves physics. He’s Torque-ish.

Stop pulleying me!

Why are you inclined to say that?

It’s in plane sight!

Lever alone!

A biology teacher goes to the store and notices a poster of anatomy of the human. Upon knowing it costs nothing, she tells the clerk she is happy to take this free body diagram.

This is so trig-ky!

This is trig-ering me!

What the frick-tion is wrong with you?

I guess you could say my puns are Joules...

You have to understand the gravity of the situation!

I do not have the energy to put up with this!

I need a new net work provider...

If you are my coworker, and we are both efficient, then we are coefficient...

Why are we doing a spring lab in the fall?

You’re in a position for success!

You have the potential to succeed!

Words are powerful.

We are a work over time house!

The net work done on a mass on an inclined plane was once 1001 Joules, so I changed the Mu value to make it 1000 Joules exactly. So you could say, I had to kill a Joule to make it a Kilojoule.

If horsepower occurred in Norway, would it be called Norsepower?

What city do physicists live in? Some say it’s velocity, but no, he lives in Istanbul, the largest city of Torque-key!

You collide with her way too much.

This unit is so Rad it Hertz.

My last joke didn’t get too much momentum.

Merry Christmas and have a happy Mu year!

First Niagara is a prime example of ideal banking.

We live in an era of revolution.

The frequency that you discuss this topic is too high.

In school dances, people often gather in a circle and watch as a person in the center showcases their dance moves. At the last dance this one guy was pushed to the center of the circle by a group of people and he said he didn’t like being treated as a centripetal force…

I got a physics textbook from the library, and as I checked out I asked the librarian, ‘Is this friction or nonfriction?'

There are only two types of forces in this world: Normal forces and abnormal forces.

Stop putting pressure on him!

"Rho, rho, rho your boat..."

Don’t be so dense!

Please decrease your volume. You’re so loud in this area...

I’d say I put in the work.

That was a lot freezier than expected.

A person with no mass and no specific heat is supposed to host the party today but for some reason he never came to it. When the party-goers realized he wasn’t there, they said, ‘where’s the MC?’

A bunch of people with no mass, no specific heat, and no temperature are in a store checkout line. But although the line is big, the “Q” is very small.

This conversation is now over…tone.

I meant no harm…onic.

This resonates with me very well!

Ohm my God!

You have to learn how to conduct yourself!

Your dad’s gonna ground you if you keep that up!

I just couldn’t resist.

This is all your volt!

Isn’t chicken a good source of proton?

That is very Cool…omb.

I get it, you have your Quarks, but please stop!

Stop charging at me!

Will we have the capacity to do this?

What a shocking statement!

Now that is lit.

I’m so amped for this lab.

The next time I hear that, I’m gonna die…lectric!

This is so flux-ing hard!

The B-field is also something a beekeeper works in.

This question is really hard, I think I need to Gauss on it…

This is light work!

Reflect on your actions!

This sounds very Bohring...

You need to walk the Planck’s constant!

Can you take a photon of me?

I’m ready to muon!

A change in height walks into an airport. Apparently, he booked Delta Airlines.

What do you call a strong lumberjack? A Logger Pro!

What do you and standard deviation have in common? Both of you are sigmas!

Yesterday, I watched a movie on position, velocity, and acceleration. It was actually a decent movie -- so decent that I'd call it a kinematic masterpiece.

“A pound and a Newton walk into a bar and order two beers. The bartender looks at them and says, ‘You guys might be underage. We’ll have to weight and see.’”

“I had a physics joke, but it was in the wrong units. Let me take a few kilograms to come up with another one.”

“When you guys graduate from college, don’t go on to study parabolas. It’s a slippery slope from there.”

“A certain Mexican student who barely knows any English is asked this question by his English teacher: ‘Use the word displacement in a sentence.’ The student says, ‘I immigrated here from Mexico. Displacement a lot to me!’”

“Last weekend, I got a date, and she happened to be a physics major. I can’t wait to meter.”

“About the date I was telling you guys earlier; she’s now forcing me to watch Lord of the Springs, and I’m very uncertain about that.”

“Back in 2020, Ted Lasso once said that the goldfish is the happiest animal on Earth because it has a 10-second memory. But what he doesn’t know is that goldfish always know their mass off the top of their heads; because they have a lot of scales on them.”

“Apparently everyone fails their tests in Massachusetts. Because, well, F = ma.”

“Poor Eric has no weight! 0mg!”

“Is Kenergy just short for kinetic energy?”

“The role that calculus plays in society is integral.”

"'Eddie, you identify as an Asian, right?' When this Asian goes to the supermarket, he usually buys things like celery and eggs. That is the true definition of eggs-celer-Asian."

“What do speed and a mountain climber have in common? Both of them are scalars!”

"COVID has left me terminally ill."

“I know this annoying guy who keeps on talking about -9.8 m/s^2. It’s just constant blabber!”

"I got in trouble for throwing a rope at James, and I got de-tension."

“Why do I say a ton of physics jokes? It’s because once you start, you never stop. And there’s no force slowing me down.”

“I was playing basketball the other day and I ended up swishing one of the shots. The net force was zero.”

“A physicist studying friction turns on his television and notices all the channels are just white noise. He says, ‘Honey, all there is on the TV is dynamic!”

"The back table here consists of me, Jonah, and Lucas. Now that's a three-body diagram."

"Kevin here wants to go skydiving, and lucky for him, the local skydiving center is selling free tickets this year, but only in the fall. It's gonna be a free free-fall fall."

"I asked Jerome what energy is, and all he said was (31, 41, 59, 26, 53). Well God dang it man, I said Energy, not RNG!

"My friend asked me, 'do you want to do a lab on finding spring constants?' I said, 'I'm Hooked!'"

"High fevers just had me all worked up."